First off, stressed Perry, we pit God against corrupt scientists in the classroom. "Evolution, genetics, global warming, climate change, and rising sea levels are a great hoax, and Texans aren't falling for it," he said.
Second, the state is no longer permitting mention of Thomas Jefferson in its textbooks, "Because Jefferson was a Federalist, and first there's Federalism and then Communism," Perry emphasized.
Third, and most importantly, "Last year the Texas G.O.P. explicitly condemned efforts to teach 'critical thinking skills,' because," he said, "such efforts 'have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.'" Perry continued: "The very last thing we want to do is send kids to school for purposes of getting them to think critically. How can men be expected to control their wives and families when their kids are required to read and regurgitate all the antifamily propaganda found in our modern day physics and chemistry textbooks?"
He then added: First comes science, next the kids will be taught to analyze social science mumbojumbo that involves dealing with more than one statistical variable at a time. "When that occurs," Perry opined, "then it makes it very difficult to select a single variable that supports one's entire worldview." "We favor the single variable approach in Texas," he assured his audience.