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House Parties

Original post made by Harry G, Another Pleasanton neighborhood, on Jul 10, 2007

Recently we had an incident in our neighborhood where a teen was severely beaten by a group of young adults/teens, because they were not allowed access to a house party. Some of these teens were Pleasanton residents and some from out of the area. This party occurred when the parents were out of town. Unknown to the parents, this party was posted on MySpace, which then attracted additional partygoers.

There was alcohol on the premises, and my belief is that even if there wasn't an assault at the property, the police would have been called since the party was loud and unusual for this house.

According to the police, there are similar incidents in other local neighborhoods where teens were told of a party through MySpace postings. With a mixture of alcohol and teens, properties are damaged, and police were called.

What can be done to prevent further damage and assaults? The teen in our neighborhood was perhaps one blow away from death. Will it take a murder or manslaughter charge against another Pleasanton teen for everyone to wake up to these events? What can parents and neighbors do?

A concerned resident

Comments (7)

Posted by Spike
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jul 11, 2007 at 7:27 am

Is this another example of the behavior of citizens in a Community of Character?

Posted by I Love Yoda
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jul 11, 2007 at 9:03 am

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda

What can be done to prevent further damage and assaults? The teen in our neighborhood was perhaps one blow away from death. Will it take a murder or manslaughter charge against another Pleasanton teen for everyone to wake up to these events? What can parents and neighbors do?

All good questions, here are a few suggestions I have:

For one, Parents need to not go out of town and leave their teens alone to do whatever they please. What ever happened to having a family member or relative being in charge of checking up on the teens to make sure they aren't misbehaving or even notifying a trustworthy neighbor to keep an eye on things while they're away and to call the police if anything suspicious is going on.

Next thing is, the parents should be held accountable for whatever happens in their home even while they are away, underage drinking, illegal drugs, assaults, damages, etc. Ultimately it is the parent's responsibility to make this kind of thing doesn't happen in the first place.

Another thing is, make sure you know where your teen is at at all times and check in with them often to see what they're up to and who they're hanging around with. Don't allow them to be out after the 10 pm curfew and punish them by grounding them if they do break the rules.

Teach your children about the dangers of violence which is so pervasive in today's society and how to be safe in their own homes.
Calling 911 is the first thing a person should do if they feel unsafe or that violence may occur.

Posted by Leigh
a resident of Amador Valley High School
on Jul 12, 2007 at 4:11 pm

Don't broadcast parties publicly especially the teen involved on his posting. It calls for unwanted visitors to crash the party. As soon as uninvited guests arrives and refused to leave the property, someone should of immediately called police. Unfortunately, teens wait around for fights. Not a surprise here.

Parents these days are so relax on discipline, no wonder their kids are out of control. The parents should be accountable for leaving their son behind without supervision. Be more involve in your children's social life. Parents need to wake up on underage drinking. It's around, and they were kids once.

Posted by Debbie Smith
a resident of Del Prado
on Jul 13, 2007 at 1:26 pm

I was unaware that this opportunity was available. I hope that it is widely used and read.

I am the mother of Joel Davis who was killed on Foothill Rd June 17 2005. My son was not drinking nor were 2 others in the car. One passenger was drinking. The situation got out of control and the car hit a tree where my son was sitting. Where is alcohol available for 16 and 17 year old youths I asked myelf? Well this particular alcohol came from some phone# that set a place to meet with the "booze wagon?" (Name made-up by me) It is unclear to me if my son was in the car for the pick-up or not. One from the group says he was, one says he was not the other can't remember much. The kids met the "wagon" at McDonalds by Stanley. They took the alcohol back to the party that was at Oak Tree Farm's. Was this an "accepted place for the kids to drink?" I have met the hostess and what I know of them, it was not an accepted practice to have alcohol served to minors in this home. (This brings up a side topic where there are parents who allow minors to consume alcohol while they are at home smiling and "keeping the kids safe". This merely condones the behavior. This was the story of the place my son and his girlfriend went to after their Jr. Prom for a little while.) That the car now transporting the booze, brought it back to the house may or may not have been common knowledge. Never the less, some of it got cracked open and was being consummed. I want it to be known that I have made amends with the kids that were in the car with my son, and we have a relationship of friendship. The driver was not drinking. The group was trying to "deal responsibly" with the one consuming the alcohol by finding a safe place to leave them off. They missed the turn and the night got out of control in moments and next thing they knew they had hit the tree, their friend had received a death blow and there were open booze bottles in the car. They were disposed of the police were called, all of the emergency people available were dispatched. Firetrucks, police, sheriff, ambulances, and finally the coroner. I have 100's of questions but I can't ask my son what happened. If he could tell what happened what would he say? The living speak on behalf of the dead. Who will confess the problem that exists out there where parents are not allowed in to help?

In a conversation I had with my son shortly before this tragic night he looked me in the eyes and said with all sencerity, "mom, you don't know, everyone is doing it" "their is a party every night somewhere that I could be at" I responded to him with senserity, looking him in the eyes, with tears streaming down my cheeks, "thank you! for everytime you choose not to join in the drinking". "Who, Joel will reach out to these poor lost kids who don't have enough purpose in their lives to save themselves from getting drunk over and over?" "You know the way." The funeral had at least 1000 people in attendance and for awhile kids thought about their actions. I fear the warning has faded away again.

It is a big problelm that will continue to grow until parents quit giving permission by excusing it and thinking they have given their 4.0 student everything they could ever want...the kids need guidence for moral character building, they need purpose in life, something to live for and look forward to. The legal system needs to create consequences for under age drinking and drug use. At this time classes are prescribed and communitee service is requied only after the minor has displayed pretty severe need of intervention. We have a needs to be addressed. It is not up to MADD to teach kids to have a designated driver if and when they drink. There are no guarantees if you have alcohol, speed, cell phones, laughing, fooling around in the car with inexperienced drivers, that you will make it home without being killed.

Posted by Concerned mother
a resident of Harvest Park Middle School
on Jul 15, 2007 at 11:42 pm

Where, I want to know, were the parents of the girl whose home this party was at? Were they unavoidably detained or did they knowingly leave what should be their priceless and irreplaceable child alone, unsupervised, to fend for herself? We all know that young people can be influenced by peers, by desires to be popular or to have fun. Even great teens with excellent grades can get mixed up in a bad situation.

Parents, PLEASE, wake up to your responsibilities to the precious young people you have brought into this world and BE THERE to support and care for them. That means knowing where they are and what they are doing, even if it makes you a nag or uncool. Teen drinking is NOT okay, it isn't "just kids having fun". The problem, in part, is that alcohol lowers inhibitions in people and teens are already grappling with these issues sober! 21 might seem an arbitrary cut off for drinking age, but let's face it - those extra few years can mean a lot more life experience and hopefully the raging hormones of puberty have passed.

Posted by A Concerned Mom
a resident of Foothill High School
on Jul 24, 2007 at 4:00 pm

My husband and I have not left our children unsupervised in 18 years. We understand they are our responsibility and if we have to give up a weekend away alone or take them with us, we do it, because that is what we signed up for as PARENTS. I am sick and tired of Pleasanton parents thinking that their child is special, well-behaved or whatever and would never do anything if they leave them alone. You make it harder for the RESPONSIBLE parents. Your house is like a magnet to all the teens out there looking for a party. In today's world of myspace, cell phones, IM, etc., Word gets out immediately that a house is unsupervised. It's hard for your own children to keep the party goers out. Stop putting your own social life first and make sure that your son or daughter is having a safe one!!!!

Posted by a concerned mom
a resident of Amador Valley High School
on Jul 25, 2007 at 11:08 am

I am so disappointed in one fact, and that is the fact that most parents do not want to take responsibility for 'what is going on' by telling their kids that they will (and then actually do it) randomly read their myspace pages. I am one of those parents who do, and I have tried to talk to other parents to tell them that their kids are in serious need of more 'boundaries', and less privacy.These parents chose not to listen, and now these kids have criminal records. Guess what? It is all over myspace! Parents seem to think that it is cool to be able to 'allow' their kids to have myspace accounts, and not know what in the world they are doing on these accounts. Parents.... I challenge you to sit down with your teen TODAY, tell them that you would like to go through their myspace with them, because you love them and want to help them to become the person they should be. Guaranteed, you have NO idea what is going on in Pleasanton, and once you do, you will understand why we ALL need to monitor our kids MUCH better than we are. I thought I knew my kids...until myspace came along. Signed, A very concerned, yet aware parent.

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