By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...
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About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.)
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Tore Kesicki posted on LinkedIn about Keanu Reeves, and it struck me so powerfully that I wanted to share it with you, Readers (see below). No matter what you have been through, you can work on yourself to be healthier, and all of us can help someone else. There are opportunities every day. Some are less personal, but no less powerful; such as donating to Second Harvest and helping to feed local people. Others are getting out into the world and helping in face-to-face (or mask-to mask) ways.
On your worst day, you may actually feel better by helping someone else. How does serving others help you? According to the Mental Health Foundation in the UK:
1. It creates a sense of belonging and reduces isolation
2. It helps keep things in perspective.
3. It helps?to?make the world a happier place –?one act of kindness?can?often?lead?to more!?
4. The more you do for others, the more you do for yourself.
“Helping others is thought to be one of the ways that people create, maintain, and strengthen their social connections. For example, volunteering and helping others can help us feel a sense of belonging, make new friends, and connect with our communities.”
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns/kindness/kindness-matters-guide
Please read their article about how to get started, and how to care for yourself while helping others.
Many on the Peninsula are incredibly lucky to have more than “enough” and many, many more don’t have “enough”. Pick an area in which you have interest, and see how making someone else’s day will make your day.
Here’s Kesicki’s post: “This is Matrix movie star Keanu Reeves. He was abandoned by his father at 3 years old and grew up with 3 different stepfathers. He is dyslexic. His dream of becoming a hockey player was shattered by a serious accident. His daughter died at birth. His girlfriend died in a car accident. His best friend, River Phoenix, died of an overdose. His sister battled leukemia.
No bodyguards, no luxury houses. Keanu lives in an ordinary apartment and likes wandering around town and often seen riding a subway in NYC.
When he was filming the movie "The Lake House," he overheard the conversation of two costume assistants, one crying as he would lose his house if he did not pay $20,000. On the same day, Keanu deposited the necessary amount in the man’s bank account. In his career, he has donated large sums to hospitals including $75 million of his earnings from “The Matrix” to charities.
In 2010, on his birthday, Keanu walked into a bakery & bought a brioche with a single candle, ate it in front of the bakery, and offered coffee to people who stopped to talk to him.
In 1997 some paparazzi found him walking one morning in the company of a homeless man in Los Angeles, listening to him and sharing his life for a few hours.
In life, sometimes the ones most broken from inside are the ones most willing to help others.
This man could buy everything, and instead every day he gets up and chooses one thing that cannot be bought.
Much Respect!”
Please share with other readers what you’re doing and how they can jump in, too. And let me know how you feel by helping others.
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