By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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"What Did You Do?"
Uploaded: Apr 16, 2021
On a recent warm afternoon, I noticed a man riding his bike with a huge mixed bouquet of flowers in his basket. I watched as he turns north from Willow onto Middlefield, curious about who they are for (or had someone given them to him)? I wondered how often he brings flowers home, and how they are received? Is this an occasion? Are friends coming for dinner? Was it an impulse buy?
I remember the story my husband once told me of buying flowers at the grocery store. When he got to the check stand, the cashier asked him, "What did you do?" The implication was that he had done something wrong, and that was why he was buying flowers – as atonement for a blunder of some sort.
Whenever I tell this story, people want to know, was the cashier a man? No, it was a woman.
Who buys flowers in your couple? When, and how come?
What is it worth to you?
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