By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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I recommend "Real Sex for Real Women" as it is a straightforward, educational, detailed book about sex -- and emotional connection. Dr. Berman's book provides a clear and simple pathway to intimacy and passion for women. She discusses typical problems women encounter and gives solid suggestions for them.
My only concern about this book is that while Dr. Berman talks about women's body image and self-esteem being off kilter due our expectations from prevalent media, and that we as women need to love our (imperfect) bodies, the models in the photographs are all young, slim, and muscular.
From my experience, and despite good books like "Real Sex for Real Women," many women find that it is not easy to be at ease with your own sexuality. There are many reasons for this, and we discuss them in therapy.
According to the website Women of Substance, 38% of girls and 16% of boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. Most of these and other sexual crimes are never reported to the police -- but the scars and pain remain.
So please, as you read Dr. Berman's book remember that while her descriptions and suggestions make it all seem simple, coming to know and be comfortable with your authentic sexuality is in fact a journey.