By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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As I sit in my living room, I hear so many different sounds: my dog's breath as he sleeps by my side, the antique German clock ticking, Caltrain on the rails, songbirds and squirrels in the oak trees, the newspaper rattling in my love's hands, cars and motorcycles on their way to destinations unknown to me, my heartbeat, children calling to one another . . .
This is a completely special moment, and a completely mundane one. It is simply a slice of time in which I am actually present and paying attention.
I've been thinking a lot lately about this being the only life we have to live. Maybe it's because my birthday is a time of my annual self-reflection (as opposed to the daily one, especially about how I am doing as a wife, a mom, a friend, and a therapist -- oh yeah, and as a human being). Maybe it's having gone through the grief of so many loved-ones' deaths over the years. Maybe it's having recently faced cancer in my own family, and now, coming out the other side into healing that I am again awed by life and opportunity. That this is happening at summer solstice reminds me that the cycles we live through each year are the trial run of life and death.
I listen, and then I don't. I listen again. Right now.