You Change! | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | PleasantonWeekly.com |

Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

You Change!

Uploaded: Feb 24, 2014
"This relationship is a mess, and I want you to change."

Now look in the mirror and repeat the above statement.

Ouch!

No matter how much we wish we had control over her behaviors, actions, and feelings, we don't. We can not change him.

It's really annoying, isn't it? Because if s/he would just do things my way, we would not be having these issues.

Truth is, we can change. We can learn about how our brain works in relationship, and help it work better for us. Truth is, we have to do the work.

I see change every day. It gladdens my heart. It does not just happen, though.

Change comes from deciding to be vulnerable; by being the first to step forward and interact differently with our partner.

"This relationship has a few issues. I am glad we're in it together, though. I will change to have a healthier, happier life with you."

Now look in the mirror and repeat the above statement.

Look in the mirror: there's the one you can influence.
Democracy.
What is it worth to you?

Comments

There are no comments yet for this post

Follow this blogger.
Sign up to be notified of new posts by this blogger.

Email:

SUBMIT

Post a comment

Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

Stay informed.

Get the day's top headlines from PleasantonWeekly.com sent to your inbox in the Express newsletter.

How quickly will we electrify our homes?
By Sherry Listgarten | 13 comments | 2,487 views

How muddled are the Pleasanton council's priorities
By Tim Hunt | 7 comments | 1,571 views

Eligibility in the Local Context (ELC)
By Elizabeth LaScala | 0 comments | 470 views

 

2023 guide to summer camps

Looking for something for the kids to do this summer, learn something new and have fun? The Summer Camp Guide features local camps for all ages and interests.

Find Camps Here