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Democrats 2016: toasters for everyone!

Original post made by jimf01, another community, on Oct 29, 2013

Following on the success of Obamacare, the Democrats are campaigning for a majority in the House in 2016, they are planning new legislation, toastercare.
Everyone has a toaster, and doesn't need a new one, you say? FACT: at least 20 million people in this country either don't have or cannot afford toasters. That means they cannot have toast. Warm, lovely toast, hot on the plate with butter melting.
But they could go to a restaurant and get some toast if they wanted toast, you say? Oh sure, you have your toaster and you are happy there at home with it, but you'd selfishly force your fellow Americans to go out and seek random toast on the streets?
Don't worry, if you like your toaster, you can keep your toaster. Period.
There will be major benefits for everyone. The enhancements to toasters will mean those who had inadequate toasters will see big improvements. Technology will allow you to order a toaster online at toastercare.gov. a website we are very certain will work better than the last one we tried to make. After all, we are talking toasters here, how hard could that be?
So you say you're a vegan and you don't even like toast? If there is one thing history teaches us, it is that toast is something everyone needs, and if we are going to make it as a country, we are going to have to make toasters available to everyone. Now do not worry, you will not be forced to go buy a toaster. Just mark the 'vegan' box on your tax return, and the non-toast eating calculations will be done for you and added to your total tax liability.
The really good news is that the cost of providing toast to everyone is projected, by preliminary estimates, to go down over time. And the quality of toast for everyone will improve! Is that living out the real promise of the American dream? The fundamental human right to have toast!
Now the Republican playbook is to cater only to their masters in the extremist far right Tea Party who will say the founding fathers didn't have toasters, and they did just fine. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, right? I don't see the word toast in there anywhere. Just typical. The Tea Party fails to mention the founding fathers who also had slaves whom they ordered to not only toast their bread, but to grow the wheat, mill the flour, make the dough and cook the bread.
We are going to have to pull the racists out of the 17th century and toward the future, a future where everyone has toast. Do not let the Republicans stand between us and toasters for all, vote Democrat in 2016!

Comments (9)

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Posted by Right
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Oct 29, 2013 at 9:40 pm

I like my toast the way it is now, unburnt. I want my light toast and don't want to be shaken down and lied to in a scheme to provide toast to able bodied people who can purchase their own toast without Obama holding a gun to my head.


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Posted by jimf01
a resident of another community
on Oct 30, 2013 at 9:36 am

jimf01 is a registered user.

Unburnt? Coded language, no doubt!


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Posted by Right
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Oct 30, 2013 at 7:35 pm

Leave it to you to take the intellectually lazy way out, chola. The race card means nothing any longer...the dems have overplayed their hand.


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Posted by ezra
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Oct 31, 2013 at 9:30 am

Ezra Klein was named in another column as one Obama's favorite columnists. The boss aint gonna be happy with this one Web Link


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Posted by Right
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Oct 31, 2013 at 6:57 pm

Wow, cholo, nice way to refer to our esteemed liar in chief. Even though he knows nothing about any govt policies and controversies and has lied about the healthcare debacle and it impact on citizens losing coverage or paying much, much more for their policies, you should not refer to him as stool nor toast, although that adequately describes his legacy.


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Posted by Right
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Oct 31, 2013 at 6:59 pm

Wow, cholo, nice way to refer to our esteemed liar in chief. Even though he knows nothing about any govt policies and controversies and has lied about the healthcare debacle and it impact on citizens losing coverage or paying much, much more for their policies, you should not refer to him as stool nor toast, although that adequately describes his legacy.


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Posted by jimf01
a resident of another community
on Nov 1, 2013 at 1:57 pm

jimf01 is a registered user.

cholo got upset because he doesn't have a toaster?


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Posted by dublinmike
a resident of Dublin
on Nov 4, 2013 at 9:21 pm

dublinmike is a registered user.

Jim, I use to blow off those those that commented "blah,blah,blah" I finally admit that when I read your comments, I now understand why they typed "blah,blah,blah"

So, Jim, I state to you "blah,blah,blah"


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Posted by jimf01
a resident of another community
on Nov 5, 2013 at 9:22 am

jimf01 is a registered user.

dMike, you've never said anything more intelligent than that!

Go back over the history and read between the comments assaulting the Tea Party in general and me personally as a racistsexistbigothomophobe and you learn quiclky that the bla bla bla is generally the most intelligent response I usually get. Or they try to simply ignore me.
It is undeniable that the analogy is valid. If the government can order everyone to but health insurance or pay a fine, they can order us to buy anything. How far would it have to go before you called it tyranny?

Let's come up with a more palatable example for you, what if we replaced Democrats with Republicans and replaced toasters with guns?


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